[EDIT: I wasn’t gonna do this, but it’s been a day now, THIS is what I am CURRENTLY proud to identify as]

An incident happened today and it is one of those things that has compounded in my head from previous similar things and has now exploded into this post you are about to read.

I am a cisgendered heterosexual woman. I am studying a Masters in Sociology. I work full time in a job I love. I am a mother.

These are four statements that describe me.

Here are some more.

I love Bon Jovi and alpacas. (not necessarily in that order) I love Movenpick ice cream, especially the swiss chocolate. I am a proud geek, embracing technology with a fervor most reserve for loved ones. I love writing, both casually and academically. (whether or not I do it well is a whole other matter)

You get the idea.

However, recently, (and this is irksome, to say the least) some people have insisted on completely identifying me as a mother. She is the mother of two small children. She is a XXXX mom. (insert ALL sorts of adjectives here)

I feel that even this rant will mom-shame people. Which is why it is so hard for me to write.

When I am being a mother, I’m a mother. However, in ALL other situations of my life, sometimes it is just easier to forget i’m a mother. I don’t WANT to think about what my kid is doing at pre-school when I am dealing with a staff management issue at work. I don’t WANT to worry about whether my other kid remembered to bring all his swimming gear home when I am meant to be reading my extensive pile of papers for my research (who am I kidding, they are all on the computer)

I keep feeling like this makes me a bad person.

Like I should be happy when someone wished me “happy birthday Dylan and Flynn’s Mommy” (no it’s not my birthday, this was not the incident I was referring to, it is, however, something that has happened to me)